NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
