So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
