Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
