Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
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