I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
