alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
