I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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