So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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