your thong is hanging out like whoa
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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