It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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