Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
