I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
