Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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