Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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