hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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