Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
