I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
