Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
do herpes really smell.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
