Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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