All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
