I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
