Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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