She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
