New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
