were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
