He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
