I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
