i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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