Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
