My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
