told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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