youre lurking in front of me
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
