But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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