I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
