If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
