I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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