i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Randomize
