R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
