Betty ford says i'm here all night
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
