I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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