My girlfriend figured out who you are.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
