I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
