would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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