Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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