if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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