I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
