Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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