We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
