i jhust puked up my retainher.
You can't motorboat a personality
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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