His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
